The Road to Empowerment
For the last three weeks, I’ve had this bubble of happiness in my chest. It feels like laughter but it’s inside my heart. I’ve felt happiness before of course but most times, it was caused by outside events. Like seeing my daughter swim in a triathlon or seeing my son who’s a referee expel a soccer coach from the field for being unkind. These feelings stem from being proud and comes from inside your chest too.
But there is a feeling even greater than that and it comes from your soul. It comes out when you’ve reached a certain level in your life where you know you are doing what you are supposed to do and every moment spent doing it, brings you absolute joy, happiness and peace.
The road to empowerment wasn’t always easy for me. From the time my father died, I’ve always had this feeling that I was meant to do something that would touch people profoundly. I didn’t know what it was but I knew if I kept searching, I would find it one day.
After my dad died, I needed to know where he went. I started to read books written by psychics and mediums to get a glimpse of the after-life. I learned from these books that it was possible to have access to that world and it all started with meditation, asking, listening and feeling.
And so my journey to empowerment started off that way. Through meditation I was offered a way to reach my spirit guides, my angels and my father. Now let me make this clear. I don’t actually have conversations with them, but I hear their answers through my own voice and through feelings. I get nudged and poked, not literally but in a sense I am brought to different spaces and places by instinct. Other times, I speed write. I ask questions on a piece of paper and let my hand take over and answer my own questions. Sometimes, I hear voices.
A perfect example of this was the evening I was driving on a two lane highway at 100 km/hr. I was in the passing lane, just having passed a car. I was heading up a small hill where I couldn’t see ahead of me. I remember being in a very happy mood, listening to music and feeling content. I heard a voice tell me “change lanes now” so without even thinking about it, I put my signal on and changed lanes to go to the right. Seconds later, the headlights of a car came barreling down towards me in the left lane. My immediate reaction was to brake and turn my head to look at this car who was on the wrong side of the highway. My second reaction was to try to slow down my beating heart that was thumping so hard, I thought I had a drummer sitting in the back seat of my car. “Just breathe” I kept telling myself. Once I calmed down, I prayed that the car wouldn’t hit anybody. Cell phones didn’t exist back then and I had no way of warning anybody.
These types of occurrences happened frequently in my life. I didn’t always listen to the voices or my instincts though. I missed my nephew’s birth and another time, I moved in with a man who was a narcissist. Both times, I heard a voice clearly giving me advice.
“You will miss the birth if you leave” I heard. But I left anyways, somewhat arguing with whoever was talking. “No I won’t” I replied “I can make it back on time”.
“It’s not too late to back out of moving in with him” I heard. But I replied “I can make this work”.
So you see with time, I have learned to always listen to the voices, my instincts, my spirit guides and angels because when I failed to do so, I’ve felt pain or disappointment.
So what does all this have to do with empowerment? Everything. Empowerment comes from inside. When you understand that the universe wants nothing but the best for you and that you have everything you need to lead a fulfilling and amazing life, you no longer have the need to listen to your ego.
I would often notice the phrase “let go and be free” but I didn’t always understand its meaning. More than ever I realize that by letting go, you free yourself from attachments and the need to know the outcome. You feel safe knowing that the universe has your back. Your only role is to let yourself be guided, without having the urge to control your life.
The road to empowerment was a long ride for me. It took me years to recognize that I was a valuable human being. I placed others before me, especially men. My ego made me think that empowerment came from controlling situations and saving others. I got a high from it and confused my feelings for love. Only later did I realize that the relationships I had were never based on love. They were based on control, need and pain.
When you feel empowered, you no longer have a need to save anyone. You realize that you are not responsible for other people’s behaviors and you let go of the need to control every situation. You practice living in the present moment. You avoid worrying about things because you know that everything happens for a reason. You are therefore able to let go of controlling the outcome.
I freed myself from the abuse cycle when I stopped resisting my instincts and the urge to control. I learned that this world is really a loving place and that every emotion I put out there, only comes back to me three-fold.
If you’re asking yourself where to start, here are three things you can do today:
1. Listen to your instincts instead of your ego
This week, practice recognizing where your decisions come from. Often we confuse the intellect with our instincts. Our mind tells us one thing and then we realize later that it was the wrong choice. Think of that meal you ate at the restaurant. You ordered the burrito but deep down inside you really wanted the taco salad. After your meal, you feel less than satisfied and you say to your friend or spouse, I should have ordered the taco salad.
Every day you face choices. If you take a moment to simply listen to your instincts before responding or making a decision, you will be much happier and content with your life. Instincts are feelings that come from the core of your stomach area. You often get goosebumps or butterflies or feel a deep need to accept (or refuse) something. It just feels right (or wrong).
The ego is that part of you that takes over. It often has a need to override your feelings and your instincts. Your decisions are often based on a need to control a situation. If you take my moving in with the narcissist as an example, my instincts were screaming at me that I should not move in with this man. A voice also offered advice. Instead of listening to my instincts, I wanted to control the outcome. I let my ego take over and paid dearly for it.
By listening to your instincts, you will be choosing the path of less resistance. The universe will guide you to wonderful opportunities and ultimately, you will be in a much happier place in your life.
2. Take your power back
You give power to other people when you are affected by their behavior. Practice healing your past relationships through forgiveness. This doesn’t mean you have to forget how you were treated, it simply means you are not blaming others for how you feel. You have the means and the power to be happy. No one owns that part of you. When you stay angry at someone, you are resisting the emotions you would get from feeling joyful, happy and free. Don’t keep yourself in the victim role. Use whatever you went through as a learning experience instead.
Several techniques exist for letting go of pain and hurt.
· You can write the person who harmed you a letter. Then burn the letter as a symbol of letting go;
· You can use the Ho’oponopono Technique which is to simply repeat the phrase “I’m sorry, please forgive me, thank you, I love you” several times a day. You can google the technique if you’d like to learn how this works;
· You can visualize kneeling in front of a river with a current. Then proceed to empty your chest and heart from all the pain. Feed your sorrows to the river and see them being taken away in the current.
Letting go of pain and hurt is very liberating so find the best technique that works for you and get your power back.
3. Make yourself a priority
Your number one priority should always be yourself. The reason is very simple. If you are happy, you can take care of your second and third priorities. Self-care is very important. Do you take time for yourself? Do you do the things that make you happy on a regular basis?
One thing I was always good at was putting myself first with my kids. It may sound selfish but it’s not at all. I went out with my friends once in a while because the energy of being around positive people, made me a happier person for my children. It also allowed my kids to understand that I was not just their mother but that I was a person too and that I needed some time to myself.
So make time for yourself. Make a list of the things that bring you joy and make it a priority to do at least one thing on the list every week. When you are happy, everyone around you will benefit from it.
Above all, always remember that you are cherished, you are loved and you are powerful. You were born for greatness.
Me just relaxing, letting go of the past and visualizing what I want for the future. Photo taken in August of 2017 at a little cottage in Val-des-Monts, Quebec.