My dream has always been to be self-employed. A year and a half ago, I set up a home office. I took time to create and order business cards. I decorated my office in a peaceful setting. I ordered a Bluetooth speaker and created a website. I studied and took classes to improve my skills as a Tarot Angel Card Reader and studied the Chakra system to better my skills as a Reiki Master. I practiced on my friends and family and gave free sessions all the time.
After I got all of it done, I was physically ready and set up to start opening my doors to clients. But I didn’t do that. Instead, I gave myself every excuse to avoid it all. I was scared to disappoint people. “What if I’m not good enough?” I’d tell myself. “What if they don’t like me?” I’d hear myself saying. I felt tired from my day job so I couldn’t see myself opening my doors on weeknights and weekends.
So, I waited. I waited for a sign which never really came. I believe that I was so paralyzed by fear that I blocked whatever guidance I was receiving from the universe. So where did this fear come from? It came from years of abuse which translated into unworthiness. I had a deep rooted belief of not being good enough but I wasn’t conscious of it at the time. When I started to look closely at my life, I remember refusing to take the necessary steps to better my life. It kept me from accessing the freedom I deserved, from reaching my dreams and from achieving my goals.
Through a personal development course, I started to understand that my fears were created by the events of my life. I learned that I had to undo certain beliefs I had about myself and the way I did that was to let go of the pain I kept so close to my heart.
During my lifetime, I thought that I had forgotten painful events because I moved on and stopped thinking about them. But in fact they were far from forgotten. They were stored by me in my heart and my mind and whenever I attempted something new, my ego reminded me that I wasn’t good enough so I backed off. All it was doing really, was protecting me from getting hurt again. My ego made me believe that it wasn’t a good idea to step out of my comfort zone because if I did, it might cause me pain. And that’s partly true.
But how was I ever going to get anywhere by refusing to take chances and move forward? Part of my journey I knew, was to step out of that safe little bubble I had created for myself. I felt that if I didn’t take a leap of faith, I’d be stuck with the mundane life
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I had created. And I didn’t want that. I wanted to be free. I wanted to be self-employed and have a chance at a better life.
A year ago, I took that leap of faith. I emptied and cleared my heart of the things that were keeping me from achieving greatness. It wasn’t easy and it was painful at times. But when you make a decision to move forward, and you are committed, you just do what you have to do. And that’s what I did. I used several techniques to clear my limiting beliefs during the course of several months. I learned to recognize self-defeating patterns and turn them into self-fulfilling ones. I learned that I was worthy and that abundance was possible, not just for me but for everyone who wanted it.
Through different exercises, I was able to gain clarity. I know where my life is headed and I like what I see. My dream of becoming an author became a reality. I am self-employed and own my business. With time, I will be able to retire from my day job. For now, I take little steps every single day which gets me closer to freedom.
My wish for you is that you get to experience the kind of love I feel for myself every day. You deserve to be happy. We all do. I encourage you to take a leap of faith because you are cherished, you are loved and you are powerful. You were born for greatness.